Budweiser Really Is King (Miller Fans Can Now Go Home)

We realize that we’re probably supposed to be excited to the point of spontaneous human combustion by the new bowtie-shaped Budweiser can. It’s a marketing coup and innovative packaging design; it’s been engineered to death, unlike any beer can that has ever existed. It also holds one less ounce of beer than the traditional can. We dislike it, and here’s why.

Oh, it’s not permanent by any means – the standard 12 oz can will still be available. The new bowtie-shaped can is a prestige model that is only offered in the United States to create “buzz” and make collectors salivate at the thought of possibly reaping significant posthumous windfall when their descendants sell it on Ebay in 2050 for a whopping million dollars (which by 2050, will be the equivalent of, roughly, $14.79).

The Anheuser-Busch party line is hip and trendy; it’s precisely what cool customers want in a fine American brew. Our cries for a beer can that doesn’t bore us to sobriety have finally been heeded! Hurrah! What isn’t widely mentioned, however, is that the new can contains more aluminum than its traditionally shaped counterpart – roughly double the amount. More packaging, less product. Is this in keeping with the latest (relatively new, anyway) trend for environmentally responsible packaging? Who cares! Crack open a cold one!

The Incredible Shrinking Product

Keeping product packaging design roughly the same size while reducing the amount of product itself is an act of corporate subterfuge that has been ongoing since humans developed the ability to put objects in vessels. Wouldn’t it be refreshing if a company could admit what it was doing to the public? “Hey, our business model of offering abundant quantities of product at a low price was simply untenable. Because we don’t want our CEO’s jet fuel budget to suffer, we will be raising our prices. Thanking you in advance, your friends from Anheuser-Busch. Xoxo.”

Of course not. No company would ever be so honest. Instead, memos are issued proclaiming the righteousness of the brand regarding its packaging, making it more in line with what the customer wants. The customer wants an angled can and slightly less beer. Deal with it.

Mixed Signals

Anheuser-Busch is no stranger to marketing strategies and solutions; it has been shaken by the surge of the craft beer industry and responded by marketing craft-like beers with homespun labels and the Anheuser-Busch imprint nowhere in sight. Now, any company has the right to sell its products in any way it sees fit; after all, there weren’t any official lies on the label – just the sin of omission, right? You try telling that to a hippie with a penchant for supporting tiny craft breweries and a blog.

Occasionally, a corporation’s mammoth size can become its own worst enemy. A big and bloated company somehow seems cold and untrustworthy. The more the company tries to appeal to the better angels of a public’s nature, the more calculating the company appears. Case in point: what is the better marketing strategy for the current cultural sentiment? Less packaging, or more packaging, but in a slightly cooler shape? Aggressively artisan beers made with bog myrtle or some other massively heritage plant harvested sustainably by a group of mandolin-playing hipsters with knee-length beards, or beers surreptitiously adorned with folksy labels even though they were made in breweries that produce hundreds of millions of barrels every year?

From a branding perspective in today’s age, the heirloom marketing angle has the edge. “Green” product packaging, which supports the little guy’s big dream and environmental responsibility, may be cynical marketing tools. Still, they work, and they work because the public is genuinely concerned about the planet’s resources and habitability. Of course, that concern might be more deeply rooted in creating the appearance of concern for fashion’s sake. Still, if stylishness motivates people to do responsible things, we can only say: fair enough.

So what have we learned today? We’ve learned that the “King of Beers” is enclosed within a beer can that is shaped like it’s wearing a corset. We’ve learned that we’re supposed to think that this is cool. We’ve learned that Anheuser-Busch is, on one hand, distributing a product using twice as much packaging as needed, and on the other hand, covertly marketing a product designed to appeal to the exact segment of the population that is most likely to find the revolutionary new beer can design dubious. Most importantly, we’ve learned that we’re getting far too worked up over corporate machinations; we need a frosty, delicious beer. Ahhhhh.

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